How would you do it?
Hello Ladies,
Joe here. Richard is really working hard at his Search. I don't envy him. Umberto and I are sort of standing by as this decision is all his. Richard seems keyed up (wouldn't you expect that?) but calm and collected at the same time. I know you have all been waiting for this for a long time- but Richard has been waiting even longer. Umberto is studying up on his photography and learning how to manage the blog in preparation for the trip (and getting some early morning surfing in!) I am getting many (pleasant) surprises ready for you on the website and other things.
So the thought came to mind. How would you go about making the kind of decisions that Richard has to make? How would you be feeling about now? Please share your thoughts....
-joe
Joe here. Richard is really working hard at his Search. I don't envy him. Umberto and I are sort of standing by as this decision is all his. Richard seems keyed up (wouldn't you expect that?) but calm and collected at the same time. I know you have all been waiting for this for a long time- but Richard has been waiting even longer. Umberto is studying up on his photography and learning how to manage the blog in preparation for the trip (and getting some early morning surfing in!) I am getting many (pleasant) surprises ready for you on the website and other things.
So the thought came to mind. How would you go about making the kind of decisions that Richard has to make? How would you be feeling about now? Please share your thoughts....
-joe
41 Comments:
Hi Richard, Joe, Umberto and all the lovely Ladies:
Wow, Joe, you ask how would I go about choosing if I had to make that choice???? If I had 2000 video to choose from, believe me, it would not be an easy task. First off, I'm sure I would go through and separate the ones I felt like, enjoyed the same interst as me. If I had the chance to meet some, I would review all the pictures over and over, trying to feel a common bond between me and that certain someone. I feel there would definitely be a type of chemistry somehow. A certain smile, a certain look or something to spark an interest!!! It would be very hard, but I say let your heart lead the way. If it's meant to be, it will happen. I think the certain someone would have stirred something up inside me that makes me want to be with them more. At least a chance to get to know them more!!! Gee, Joe, this would be hard!!! Richard, has a hard decision to make.
Umberto, I'm sure you are getting very excited about the trip and I know your pictures will be wonderful. You do such a great job. You have a wonderful spirit and a beautiful smile.
Ladies, I know we all our anxious to see the choices that Richard makes. I wish you all the best of luck. Whoever he chooses, I'm sure, will share many memories with us all. Good Luck and God Bless to All.
Hugs,
Linda P.
Hi Joe, Richard, and Ladies of the Blog -
Well, since you ask, Joe, if I were going through this process and was now going to be making choices, first of all, I would have kept to what I originally said I was looking for, i.e. someone near my own age who is free to travel for 6 months or more. That would have kept the numbers way down, because in Richard's 2nd newsletter (I think it was the 2nd)he said that of the emails he received, 90% did NOT fit his requirements - mainly that they weren't free to travel for that long of a period. So then he would have had only 10% to decide amongst. Of those 10%, I would have, I think, been able to easily decide that I wouldn't have felt a chemistry with most. Of the remaining 'possibilities', I would have traveled, or asked them to travel to meet in person. After those meetings, the number would be very manageable and I would have a good idea of who to choose.
Nancy
Way to go, Nancy! You are saying exactly what I've thought since day one.....
Richard: Remember what is important to you in the relationship, your goal from the beginning and your heart will follow.......
Aloha Richard, Joe, Umberto and Posse!
Here is my input even though it may not carry weight so to speak;)
This is a decision that will change your Life completely. You live a Charmed Life and now you have room to share that Charmed Life with a 'potential' significant other. Listen very carefully to your heart and go with your 'gut feeling'. If I was in the same position, there is no way that I would be able to travel with 6 different men, one month per man, it is not my style! Friendship takes time to develop and a potential friendship/relationship needs to be cultivated. The seed needs to be in fertile soil and watered in order for it to bloom into a beautiful flower, that takes time and patience! Go back to the very beginning and think about your original decision to choose one and travel for six months. Then think about WHY you changed your mind, was it you or pressure from outside!
My honest opinion, this is the rest of your Life ahead of you and one of THE most important decisions, finding your SOULMATE!
You will feel a resonance with her when you see her, like that of a finely tuned Violin. You will look no further for you will feel you've 'come home'
G-D Bless You and Guide You to your Beloved
I am watching from the sidelines
Senior Bachelorette:)
val the gal
Richard and Joe I had a thought after I arrived home and this was it: In order to maximize your (Richard's) search for romance and adventure, you could choose someone from another country, (i.e.Canadian ME "grin") and right away, you would have an "in" to the media. (US/Can relations/hips ha!ha!)And someone who would feel comfortable speaking in public to further the cause. (teachers are always speaking in public) "another cheesy grin"
I jest, but sincerely I believe you must go with your heart. If someone intriqued you, then put her in your "possible" list. Also, don't be concerned about looks or that elusive "chemistry" thingy - just yet. If it is meant to be, that will grow stronger as you get to know the lady. I find at this age the pheromones don't always work to maximum capacity at the beginning, anyway. Also, imo, you seem to be looking for someone who has experienced true love and lost it in some way - someone who is empathetic to your own background and with whom you can share memories without either of you feeling threatened by the past.
Finally, remember what I wrote at the end of my letter to you when I sent in my "stuff." That will be of utmost importance in the years to come, maybe sooner than you realize.
I sincerely hope I'm one of the ones you'd like to get to know better because I would like to get to know you and your plans for the future better.
Leslie
Mercy, Joe. How any female would have done this is a world away from the way a male is doing it.
I would have taken "applicants" for a month at most, kept a special file of the men who interested me -- their looks or their words or their history. I would have prioritized what is IMPORTANT (my standards of fit and fun, plus smart, kind and a good Dad and Grandad) then chosen and sought a personal connection with say 20 of them.
I would have had phone conversation and exchanged emails to get to know the guys personally--, not through photo,video,written, blog or meet them- in- a- crowd.
I know myself and what I'm looking for so well that usually after three "quality" encounters I have a pretty good idea if we click. Then I would have spent time visiting or having the guys visit to see how we are together. If I needed another opinion, I would have asked friends or family to meet some of them guys.
I would have narrowed the field until I had one who agreed that we were going to make a "go" of it. I could not/ would not ask six men to wait around for me to make a decision even if I was offering them a month of fun. I would fear they were in it for the "fun" and not for the relationship.
You asked!
WOW, what a question. Thanks for asking... Aren't I glad to hear other ladies who think the same things things that I am thinking.
As time went on Richard seemed to be more inclined toward 6 women as opposed to 1. I, too, wondered what was the motivation for the change. Many of us are either retired or will retire and can be away for 6 months or longer. BUT, that wasn't the question, was it.
Traveling is, in itself, an adventure, since we are not in control. Outside forces, the airlines, the weather, et c. moves us along.
During SNAFU's, there has to be sharing, either sharing life stories or sharing silence.
WOW, I have thought long and hard about this, trying to empathize with the difficult task that faces Richard. I do not think I could do it.
As it gets closer to the time, we all hope that he is guided by his head as well as his heart.
P.S. Can we get Richard to grow his beard back and then vote on which look we like the best?
well, since you ASKED...i jump at this opportunity to put in my 2 cents worth!
i think LESLEY has a VERY good point:- pick a Canadian...we travel well and everyone LOVES us. (heh heh)..
but, SERIOUSLY,...
1.)i would probably go largely on looks (being as superficial as i am) 1/2 joking,
2.) i would NOT pick me (i can only wear cotton and silk, and very soft wool, so i would not TRAVEL WELL, I would be wrinkley where ever we went, hence i would not be PRESENTABLE,
3.) I would be bored after the first 100 videos, so i would quit there. Then i would screen out 50, and of the 50 i would arrange to meet those women.
4.) at that point i would rely on so called "chemistry", but this is not allways a reliable method, as those of us who have been in and out of "lust" or infatuation know...so..maybe forget about the chemistry, unless you are only interested in a "fling"...
5.) well, maybe you would have "chemistry" with 1, 2, 3, or even more...who knows? so keep the ones with chemistry and add a few of the other for good measure...or just put put them all in a hat and draw out 15 names...
6.) out of those 15, get them all together in a medium sized room, for a whole day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Watch how they eat...i don't like sloppy eaters, that is important for me...i don't like pickey eaters, i hate cooking for fussy people (- i'm a good cook and i expect people to eat what i cook without complaining, if you don't like it, keep that to yourself!) ..i digress...so now you have the 15 finalists, mix in the in-laws, a few friends, the children, and the grandchildren...it is important that "she" get the approval of the in-laws, (VERY important.) let the grandchildren run around freely but not choatically...children are like dogs, good instincts...WATCH how the grandchildren interact with the 15 and then listen to what they have to say...take it from there...
failing that, select ONLY from the Canadian contingent, seclude them all in a room together for 24 hours, don't let them sleep, or drink coffee...then let them decide by taking a vote, but do allow them one vote for themselves. that may be the DEMOCRATIC approach.
don't laugh, i'm SERIOUS!! (well, maybe my tongue is somewhat in my cheek, but really, the children are the best "barometers", so to speak...
cheers, xox,
pj
Joe,
I'm thinking one of the reasons it is so hard to cull out the more favorable traveling partners, is because Richard was never able to commit to any really specific things he is looking for. The range was sooooo broad that just about everyone fit into the category.
For example.... for me some must haves would be:
Must love to go to museums and take the time to read all the plaques and exhibits. (That would rule out a huge amount of men)
Must enjoy science and talking about scientific aspects of life,
ie. astronomy, geology, biology etc. (There goes a bunch of men.)
Must love to dance. (There goes a bunch more).
Most comfortable in shorts and sandals year round. Don't like to dress up really often. (There goes a bunch more)
Very independent, don't like to be controlled. (WOW, there goes a huge bunch of men!!)
Would consider living in another country working there and learning the language.
(That would REALLY narrow it down)
Well I think you get the picture. I could be alot more specific...
Many women kept asking for this type of information and hung in there for a long time. If they actually had more information along a certain line, they may have moved on earlier.
I know this may not sound very romantic to some, but it is realistic and the more you know what your must haves and have nots are.... Then you can get down to a reasonable number from which you can look for that "chemistry" element.
Why don't you make a questionnaire? Put in those important personal questions that could quickly help you rule out a bunch and at least narrow the field to a group in which Richard has a chance of actually finding a soul mate.
p.s. and Leslie is absolutely right about the furmones -- they can be misleading...lead you right up the garden path, into the hot house, then WATCH OUT!!
I vote TO BEard. When his hair is wet, it curls, and when he smiles, the BEard is endearing.
Fun in the water on "Pop & Me"...
LOVE2TRAVEL:- are you in the running? if so, watch out, you may be putting yourself out of the running...sorry, just joking, i'm in that kind of a mood today. it was the musuem thing that got me...i like musuems, but after a while i kind of overdose on all the stuff, so if i had to stay and read ALL the plaques, i would probably FAINT!! (LOL)
cheers,
pj
Dragonflyfilly,
That's my point. If you are very specific with what you need in a partner...then those kind of must have's, quickly rule out people who wouldn't work for you...and before you start falling for their looks or other distracting features...Ha ha
JoeinMB Thank you for asking how, if I were Richard would I go about making this decision?
First, I'd like to comment about Richard's choice to choose 12 then narrow it down to 6 then narrow it down again to 1. If it were me and I was put into this situation I fear that I would put my tail between my legs and run as far away as possible. I realize that there are some strong women out there, but it just seems to me that some lovely women are sure to be hurt emotionally during this process. I know that we all had the choice to stay and participate or not.
If it were me, I would stick to the original plan - One woman, One trip.
Now if that is not possible for some reason. Then how about a newsletter showing Richards 12 choices and let his fans take a vote. But it would only be fair to know something about each woman so that the vote would be someone that Richard would really be interested in.
How about a newsletter that has the woman's photo and short bio?
The blogs don't reach everyone, but the newsletters can reach a lot of people.
Hugs Suzanne aka desertfox
p.s. i don't think it is a good idea to listen to your heart, or your brain, both of these are quite unreliable...listen to your gut!...if you feel uneasy for any reason, sleep on it, ask for guidance to come to you through your dreams, and remember the children, they are not bogged down with all the social mores that we are, they are most likely to be honest, so listen to the children and your "gut".
and that is ALL I am going to say on THIS matter.
(and Joe heaves a sign of relief!)
pj
Interesting comments here ladies...
Well, Richard has probably already made up his mind but you asked so I will add my 2 cents worth...
I can't imagine myself ever doing anything even remotely like this but I guess I would have narrowed it down to maybe 25 (we're talking out of 2,000 here ladies)...then out of those 25, I would want to get to know them a little better...ie; meet in person one on one if possible and then somehow narrow it down to maybe 10.(Don't I wish???)
It would be very important to me that we share similar interests. I don't think it would be practical to choose only one travel partner. You may think you know a person, but you really have to spend some time together to get to know one another. With 12 women to choose from, Richard has a much better chance of, at the very least, finding a very enjoyable travel partner. What a nightmare this could be for him if he chooses the travel partner from hell!
Chemistry would be important if he were looking for his soulmate but I'm sure that there are many he has in mind that would make great travel partners...if there's chemistry, then all the better, if not...oh well, he and she can at the very least say that they had a wonderful time together...and became friends.
I do like born to travels' idea of a questionaire...could be very enlightening.
I have to agree, that this would be such a hard decision to make and I don't envy Richard at all...
We're getting close to finding out his final decision..."what will be, will be" Que sera, sera
I say go with a California girl...
Joe and Richard: I have been one of the first to 'squack' about not wanting ANY of the women to GET HURT, etc., but the sheer NUMBER OF TAPES IS UNMANAGEABLE! I would have to go through once and pick out everyone with whom I had some chemistry...from the videos...Even though I would try, there would be NO WAY, to not form a 'deeper' attraction to those I met with whom I already felt an attractiion...Of course, there is a VERY HIGH LIKELIHOOD that Richard has 'chemistry' with way more than 12 or 20 or 50, and so I would take the group for whom I had the most 'chemistry' and connection and I think I would just do a 'pin the tail on the donkey', closed-eyed pick....NOT PRETTY! But, as much as I want deserving women, AND THERE ARE MANY, and as much as I want EVERYONE to be able to go...THERE AIN'T NO SUCH ANIMAL IN THIS WHOLE THING!! I only hope the best for all involved, and as for the 'matching' up seniors thing that you guys are doing-ALWAYS GO4IT!! It is just not for me RIGHT NOW! lol...So, as Lilly Tomlin would have commented from her BIG ROCKING CHAIR, "THAT'S THE TRUTH", and is likely the way I would have to handle it....
Peace and Joy in the Neighborhood,
Remember, ALWAYS GO4IT !!
CJ
First off:
Thank you Joe for asking for our thoughts.
All the answers so far show wisdom.
Each lady holds a piece of the answer.
* I think the certain someone would have stirred something up inside me that makes me want to be with them more.
*If someone intriqued you, then put her in your "possible" list. Also, don't be concerned about looks
*free to travel for 6 months or
more.I would have traveled, or asked them to travel to meet in person.
*Remember what is important to you in the relationship
*Go back to the very beginning and think about your original decision to choose one and travel for six months. Then think about WHY you changed your mind, was it you or pressure from outside!
CJINSOCAL...not nice, calling women "donkeys"...tut tut tut...off to the naughty mat with you! ( lol)
...and i am NOT being "1%"...someone has to add a little humour to this very serious blog, now...
xox,
pj a.k.a. "Running Wild In The Neighbourhood"
Hey, SOMEONE! -- put a mussel on this here Coyote!!!
Dragonfly: It is lady base camp's fault! Her poetry and analogy have been so profound, and she has such a way expressing herself...WOW-If I could write like the 'Lady' I would pass the bar exam hands down....Sorry for the cheap imitation, lol..It is after all the best I can do after all of this drama for so many months...But, I really don't want to make light of the literally thousands of women who are likely checking the SB site on the hour, minute, etc. ...They have invested much of themselves, and eveyone cannot have a happy ending...As I said on my site, "DO NOT GRIEVE THAT ALL OF YOUR DREAMS HAVE NOT COME TRUE....NEITHER HAVE ALL OF YOUR NIGHTMARES!!" And, for now, that is all of the wisdom I have in my whole body about what is coming....But, I pray joy and peace for ALL INVOLVED!!
Peace and Joy in the Neighborhood,
and, Remember, ALWAYS GO4IT !!
Hello ladies and Joe
A thought twister indeed and one I will attempt to make a response to although the hour is late and I am just in from a long day of doing accounting work.
The task of choosing 12 out of 2000 is tremendously difficult but not an impossibility.
Philosopher Victor Hugo once said, "There are many lovely women, but no perfect ones. However, as long as a woman has the best quality of intelligence, she is always attractive."
I believe that RR's perfect woman does not necessarily have to be a total beauty but she should definitely have an attractive exterior and a tough interior ie. knowing exactly what she wants from her life.
His perfect woman should be smart enough to know when it is appropriate to put her foot down so as to gain the respect not only of RR but of everyone else she comes into contact with during their travels together and when to yield gracefully over inconsequential matters.
She should have that special sensuousness desired by all men. Ah yes, the elusive chemistry. And, lastly, she should have the eloquence and mannerisms of a true ambassador that will set her apart not just in her own country but all over the world.
Trusting that my two cents contribution (Bzean) will help out in these agonizing moments.
Cheerios to all :)
I guess my biggest fear would be is this person sincere, are they truely drawn to me, does their heart want to explore mine, do they truely want to feel my touch, taste my lips, share my dreams and desires, blend their lives with mine, follow me to the ends of time,share my joys and pain, my fears and hopes,be the one that recieves me when I have great news to share,be the last and first person I kiss everyday, be my strength when I am weak,be the strong arms that hold me when I need comforting,be my pillow when I need a soft place to fall,my personel diary when I need to share,my clown when I need to lighten up, all these things I would be for him.
Is it me they seek or the chance for a free vacation or maybe it's the chance to be on Oprah they have dream of, could it be they truely seek fame......modeling,actress,singing career? How many are bluffing and decietful, how many would stop at nothing to be in the lime light?
I think that is your greatest fear Richard....I know it is mine, for you. The last thing you need is another broken heart, oh my.
I think your first goal is finding love and of course she must love to travel. You have know love therefore you are able to reconize it in others, do you want to spend the rest of your time teaching it or giving and recieving it?
Richard also just how many tomboys have shown you interrest!
Oh, and a true tomboy are wide and far apart!
Ok, so what would I do?
choice 1: pick as many as 20 to 50
for a 6 months cruise, get enough sponsers to cover all the costs,seeing that you will be on the go, many restaurants and hotels,would only need to sponser a few days.................. dating services,candy shops,flower shops, could provide cash donations etc...they all would love the free publicity...clothing shops could furnish official travel gear.
Choice 2: Load a caravan or 2 with your favourites and travel the roads....someone might sponser you ( hello 0prah ) daily posts of 10 to 15 min. on Oprah...or weekly.
You might beat out Paris Hilton.
Choice 3: Place all your favourites in a hat, pray and choose.
Choice 4:Pick as many as you feel you need to , spend one week with each.
Choice 5:Rent an Island, have as many who want to join you do so, let them find their own sponser,
(Oprah, let me be the first to ask you !) Hey , I like this idea!!
Your family and friends could be buzzing about incognito!!
A sure way to weed them out is have lots of free men around, if she is meant for you, you will be the apple of her eye.
DearJoe to Richard. What a friend he has in you now Joe. Richard, stay with your orginal plan and go with your heart and true gut feelings. These trips don't have to be the "make or break all" for a lifetime commitment. Enjoy the adventure and if your soulmate doesn't appear on the horizon, keep searching, you'll find each other. My best to you both, Lynn in Sacramento
If I was RR and was in his shoes?
I would have a list of specific attributes of what I was looking for in a partner. I would comb through each of the biographies and see what each person had learned, obtained and done in their life. Did they learn from their mistakes? Did they have any achievements? Are they just 'floaters' through life? Have they helped others? What has the person done with their life so far? Also, I think it is probably important to RR the depth of travel a candidate has. A current passport, updated immunization record and excellent health is a must. And finally, what is the candidate, bringing financially to the table? Is she financially independent? Or is she dependent upon RR as the prince?
If I was RR, I would be very objective in my choosing of the 12 and then later be subjective with my heart at a later time.
I forgot the main thought: If I was RR, I would try to find the person who seemed like a helluva fun to be with all the time!
Period!
HI RICHARD,I AM SO PROUD TO BE PART OF THIS SR. BACHELOR MOVEMENT. LINDA P, ARLENE ,ANNE, NANCY, DREAM WEAVER, YOU ARE ALL "RIGHT ON". YOUR COMMENTS ARE MY FEELINGS ALSO. RICHARD HAS A BIG JOB AHEAD OF HIM, MAYBE BIGGER THAN HE EXPECTED. BUT NO MATTER WHAT THE OUT COME WE ARE ALL WINNERS. JUST MEETING RICHARD, JOE, UMBERTO AND OF CAUSE MEETING ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL, CHARMING LADIES IS MORE THAN I EVER DREAMED. THE WEEKEND WAS SUCH FUN, FUN, FUN. THE AIR WAS FILLED WITH LOVE AND FRIENDSHIPS WERE BLOSSOMING ALL OVER THE PALMER HOTEL. MY ROOM MATES WERE THE BEST ( THANK YOU LINDA P AND CONNIE "PICK ME" FOR LETTING ME CRASH YOUR ROOM) RICHARD, YOU WERE ORIGINALLY LOOKING FOR ONE PARTNER TO TRAVEL WITH FOR 6 MONTHS. THINGS HAVE CHANGED SOME AND I BELIEVE THINGS STILL MIGHT CHANGE. AFTER ALL THIS IS "YOUR" ADVENTURE AND YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF ITS DESTINY. I DO NOT KNOW IF IT WAS ME DOING THIS HOW I WOULD PICK . I WAS MARRIED 37 YEARS WHEN MY HUSBAND DIED. WE MET IN HIGH SCHOOL AND IF MATCH .COM WAS IN BUSINESS THEN I DO NOT THINK THEY WOULD OF MATCHED US UP.WE PLAYED AND ENJOYED DIFFERNT SPORTS, HE LOVED WATER SPORTS AND I FEARED THE WATER ( I NOW LOVE IT) OUR TASTE IN FOOD WAS DIFFERNT. I WAS A CITY GIRL, HIS PARENTS WERE FARMERS. I WAS SHY, HE WAS OUT GOING. WE WERE DIFFERENT RELIGIONS, (AND IN THE 60'S THAT WAS AN ISSUE ). HE WAS AN HONOR STUDENT WHO NEVER HAD TO STUDY AND LOVED TO PARTY. I HAD TO WORK HARD TO GET GOOD GRADES AND MY PARENTS WERE VERY STRICT. BUT WHEN WE MET THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT DREW US TOGETHER. TODAY WE ALL IT CHEMISTRY.FIRST WE DEVELOPED A STRONG FRIENDSHIP AND GREW TO UNDERSTAND, APPRECIATE AND RESPECT EACH OTHERS DIFFERENCES. OUR FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOMED INTO LOVE AND WE BECAME SOUL MATES.WE ALLOWED EACH OTHER TO "BE". TO "BE" WHO WE NEEDED TO BE AND NOT TO TRY AND CHANGE EACH OTHER.WE SUPPORTED EACH OTHERS DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS, AT TIMES PUTTING OUR OWN DREAMS ON HOLD. WE GAVE EACH OTHER SPACE, PRIVATE TIME, AND FREEDOM TO PURSUE ACTIVITIES THAT MEANT A LOT TO US AS INDIVIDUALS. YET IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO DO AS MANY THINGS TOGETHER AS POSSIBLE. SEARCHING FOR A SOUL MATE TODAY IS REALLY NOT VERY DIFFERENT. DEVELOPING A STRONG FRIENDSHIP WITH GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT I THINK. READING A BIO HELPS BUT DOES NOT TELL ONE ABOUT THE INNER SOUL OF A PERSON. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER, UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHERS PASSIONS,BEING ABLE TO GO WITH THE FLOW SO TO SPEAK IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT. FINDING A SOUL MATE AT 60 IS DIFFERENT THAN LOOKING FOR ONE AT 18. WE HAVE DEVELOPED CERTAIN TRAITS AND I THINK ONE NEEDS TO BE VERY FLEXIBLE. ONE NEEDS TO APPRECIATE AND VALUE THE OTHER PERSONS FAMILY AND ITS TRADITIONS.LOVE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT GOD HAS GIVEN US. RICHARD, I HOPE THAT YOU CAN FIND LOVE ON YOUR JOURNEY. I THINK THE VIEWS WRITTEN ON THE BLOG ARE WORTH THINKING ABOUT. RICHARD LET YOUR HEART LEAD YOU. HOPEFULLY THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE HAS ENTERED YOUR LIFE EITHER THROUGH A BIO/VIDEO OR AT MB OR CHICAGO. NOURISH THAT RELATIONSHIP, GIVE IT TIME TO FLOURISH. IF YOU DO,YOU MAY NEED TO RETHINK 6 WOMAN OR ONE. I LOVE WHAT DREAMWEAVER WROTE. AGAIN IT IS YOUR ADVENTURE GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND ALL OF THE SR BACHELORETTES. WE ARE ALL WINNERS . GOD BLESS . ADELAIDE FROM "QUEENS"
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Thank you Joe for asking that question. I want to say that there is no way any of us REALLY knows Richard and he certainly doens't TRULY know us because none of us have had meaningful one-on-one with him. Even narrowing it to 12 and meeting with them all at once seems to be more fun than meaningful, in my book. There are two things going on here -- there's the travel partner thing and then the romantic partner thing. There are those who might be fabulous at either one but not both. Trying to determine romance through traveling with someone for a month could be quite trying. If I were doing it, I wouldn't choose a month of travel to figure out if there was a romance in the making. Maybe a weekend or 4 days but not a month.
If I were Richard I would have sought out some personal time with a few who intrigued me, compared PerfectMatch scores, exchanged kids/grandkid stories, looked at eah cothers favorite photos etc
Maybe Richard is agonized because he missed a key element in the process of getting to know somoeone-- maybe the decisiona are agonizing because when it gets right down to it what does he REALLY know about those ladies.
I do know he is doing his best trying to do it right for himself and for us. His intenttions are good. And if he finds he needs to make adjustments to his original plan he has the right to do it. i join with everyone is saying best of luck!
Hi Joe and Richard
Regarding how to make the decision:
if Richard can narrow down to 50 to 100 women and then (1) have another "meet and greetparty" weekend, perhaps again in Manhattan Beach near his home and (2) have them all complete a questionnaire with key questions and (3) have an interview with a "panel" which would narrow down to say 25 and then have the 25 (4) have a one
on one with Richard who would pick the final 6. I was in Chicago and met many of the lovely, accomplished women and think that this would show commitment from the women to go to Manhattan Beach as the final 50/100 (this could be a screening tool) and would give Richard the "one on one" time he really needs to make an informed selection.
Pat from DC (Ursula Andress lookalike)
Dear Joe and Richard,
Thanks for asking us.
The answer about choosing is already described in my favorite book: Missing Piece Meets Big O. It will only take about 4 minutes at mostto read.
I am not Richard and only know about him what little he has shared with us. So I cannot advise but can share my experience since 1990 when my search began.
I have not had 2000 men from all over the world at once. I have been found attractive to many, many because of my participation on the American Singles dating sight. I have not met Mr. Right yet, that I know of. I have found out a lot about myself, dating and choosing. Most of all, that experience has helped me define what I need to achieve my goals.
I too was surprised by So Many Qualified Lookers who conveyed that I was what they always wanted or I was the one that could/would help them be what they wanted to be.
This experience/learning process has taught me that I don’t want to be a full time teacher for this fun and adventure time of my life.
From profiles, I look for someone at my level who has success in achieving goals, is free, seems adaptable and from basic info exchanges, I feel we compliment each other and can grow. That does keep me (in this dating process) from being the “Perfect Host” or even “The Host with Benefits”.
Further exposures have taught me that I don’t want to spend extended time with anyone I feel I might have to defend, explain, or make excuses about.
I scan the profiles for someone who is NOW at my activity level. I so want to walk or run joined at hands, thinking, hearts and goals. By what they say they are doing, I’d like to feel that they would be missed when they are not around.
I do want someone that does not Lie or exaggerate.
I now scan their profiles to see if their activities show that they can Lead, Follow, and be Compassionate. I want someone who knows Love and is qualified for our final most important innings.
I look through their info for someone who will help me inspire my Grandchildren.
Whether my list is 2000 or one at a time, I start narrowing by what they are doing now and how well they already compliment me naturally.
Richard, from what you have show and told us through your actions and communications, I so far feel matched and excited about our possibilities. I hope to get to the next phase.
The letter “H” *Happiness is only 2 spaces from “F” *Fun *Fit & *Free.
Happiness is *Hugs and *Having *Feelings to look *Forward
Sincerely,
Mary Rose
PS again from Fumble Fingures that can't possibly correctly type as fast as I think and blurt things out.
Feelings for the Future
I guess there in lies our answer.
Excitment is contageous.
Mary Rose
Joe, Thanks for asking....There are so many great ideas here, but one that caught my attention was maybe 25 meeting in California with Richard. I think it must be difficult to remember what was said and I wish I could have had more time with him. Also, if Richard had someone moving through the crowd who knew what he was looking for and could have singled out a few and found out what was really in their heart. I overheard some girls who were not fit, or who had other committments. Maybe Richard is able, like you said, to multi task, but with so many woman wanting his attention, it had to be overwhelming. The ones chosen will be very lucky. The ones not chosen will go on knowing that God has a man in store equal or even better than Richard. We have all won by the experiences and relationships we shared. Karen
Hi Joe - Thanks for asking, and some of these comments were great from you ladies, but well here is what I would do..
Follow my heart, listen to my inner voice, Pray, and get on with it.
I think spending time together is important. You really won't know someone until you spend time with them. Maybe ladies that is why it makes sense for Richard to travel with 6 ladies at first. Then he can see the other parts of the companionship puzzle, besides the quick introductions we have had with him.
This is not an easy decision and most people could not handle this as well as Richard has I am sure.
Hi Joe, Here are a few thoughts for Richard to condsider:
1) Is he a baby boomer? No he is not!!
2) Does he want six women that might have feelings of entitlement?
3) Will he find the one he is really looking for in this manner?
If this were reversed, I would be totally confused. I would not want to hurt any man that had shown an interest in me and had participated (properly) in my adventure. Then, I would wonder, if I had not met the ONE or SIX by now, maybe I would need to go about it a different way. I am not being critical
because I have enjoyed watching this adventure from a distance. I don't know that I would have done it any differently. But, at this point, if I were still not certain, I would take more time. Put things on hold!! I would be very choosy with whom I picked. If things were reversed, and in this situation, I would take the time to visit others who had not gone to MB or Chicago that may be of interest to me. I would phone them and see if I at least liked the sound of their voice. I would want to be very careful with whom I traveled!! Finally, if I still could not make a decision, I would scrap the whole thing and try something else. "If it does not work one way, try another". I would not be pressured because when I made my decisions, I would want to feel that it would be GOOD and not a BURDEN. Just some thoughts to consider. Jayne
Yvonne in Honolulu
Aloha Richard, Joe, and all the beautiful Ladies:
Joe, I feel that Richard will make his decision of choosing that special ladies by how they made him feel..Richard is a very down to earth person and I am sure that this ladies will have touch his heart. Did he feel a spark of excitement..Did she make him laugh, really smile or stand out. It should not be about looks or external reasons. When you met someone that you feel a connection with ..it usually comes from your heart. It skips a beat..
We all have to be willing to risk and just like babies we take little steps ..and we learn how to walk. Just like a relationship.. it take times, so that it can blossom & grown. It's not about the value of money..fame, but about truly feeling a bond, and a true connection. It is real and sincere. This is the greatest gift life offers all of us. I do believe that opposites do attract..yes! We all have something unique about who we are. That is the fun part about relationships. It is an adventure. We all get to learn & experience from each other. Their has to be something that stand out..about this person. She has to also feel a connection too..
In the end...
I saw this is a lot of beautiful ladies that I have met...
Aloha, Yvonne
Hi again Joe, If Richard is committed to meeting the 12 at an undisclosed location for a week! I am wondering if this will really work out! Will the women be able to get along or will they end up acting like some of the men haters on other blogs, those who really don't need men, bashing, moralizing, suspicious of motives, wanting to take over the whole adventure, and if not pleased, start bashing, lieing, and trying to convince all the others how RIGHT "They Were". I would be certain that the women you choose or if reversed, I would make certain they are emotionally sound, and I would check out their medicine
cabinets!!
I know I must sound quite cynical, but these are things to consider. I should have been a philosopher! I do know this for certain,
that reality eventually comes back to slap you right in the face. I have been approached by men the ages of my sons, very flattering, but reality always does come back. I would also be certain that they are of the same intellect. How horrib
le would it be if the "Chosen Ones" could not keep up with you. It is obvious that Richard is extremely intelligent!! A month can end up being a very, very long time". Just some more food for thought and offered in all good faith!! Jayne
Hi Ladies,
Great, great posts. I don't know how I would do it either. I posed the question so we could try to feel what Richard was going through. Very thought provoking comments.
Now, look for the new Newsletter and check out the new blog post and the new things we have for you!!
-joe
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