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Promoting Romance, Adventure and Recognition for People of All Ages! )
  March 14, 2006
For you in this issue:
  • Costa Rica- from Lori
  • George Carlin on Aging + Recognition
  • The Senior Bachelor Cruise- Book Early!
  • A great Success Story!

    Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

    You've answered the call to send in your stories! I'm very pleased to share this with all of you. Keep them coming!

    Why men are happier people

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be President.

    You can never be pregnant.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress $5000 Tux rental-$100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    No wonder men are happier.

    Richard Roe
    Senior Bachelor

    Click here to check out the Senior Bachelor Cruise Adventure this Summer!

    Costa Rica- from Lori

    It was somewhat disorienting landing in San Jose, Costa Rica – but not for the usual reasons. Yes, it was a red-eye from LA and I didn't get a lot of sleep and I was landing in a "foreign" country, but it was more than that. I think it was the predominance of English that I heard being spoken around me and the obviously American travelers, plus the surprising appearance of Schlotsky's Deli in the terminal. I thought maybe I had grabbed the wrong plane and had landed in San Jose, CA instead.

    On the commuter flight from the capital San Jose to Puerto Jimenez in southwest Costa Rica I was reassured that I had, indeed, hit the ground in the right location. The immense mountains, muddy roads curling over the jungled slopes and the green spilling out to the horizon in all directions was more like what I had envisioned for this small country. I was headed to Jimenez to catch up with a group of "cruisers"- sailboat owners who had chosen a lifestyle that most of us only dream about, since they live full time on their boats.

    Specifically I was to join the s/v 5th Element, the well-cared-for 45-foot sloop owned by Captain Bruce, a friend of a friend. We had never met each other before, so the first order was to identify my captain and the gang of what would become instant dear friends in the welcoming crowd standing near the dirt strip. It turned out that the five smiling and waving sailors were easy to spot. After a bit of provisioning ("shopping"; for ye land lubbers), a dinner of fish tacos and a cool dip in the ocean I was ready to set sail for just about anywhere. I quickly learned that s/v Tumbleweed and s/v Alkahest were to be an important part of the sailing family that would accompany us for two weeks. Their owners Danika and Jay, Mollie and David were delightful snorkeling and diving companions, Jay and Danika play some pretty mean pinochle and cribbage, and Danika's famous Friday night pizza parties were gourmet.

    We potlucked our dinners occasionally and I was very impressed with the variety of foods that could be created from a galley the size of most people's refrigerator. Captain Bruce was also surprisingly capable of dishing up meals that immediately disappeared in front of me and the added bonus of just-caught fish, lobster, scallops and clams quickly added new meaning to the word "fresh".

    Off we sailed to Panama, stopping at Punto Balsa and the islands around Isla Perida. Days were spent diving, reading, napping, sleeping, eating, exploring the islands, kayaking and every few days sailing to another beautiful bay. The nights were lit by the full moon, the Southern Cross and the eerie blue-white glow of bioluminescence as the waves hit the shore and spilled across the sand.

    We improvised on our own "Panamanian Winter Olympics"; which left us bruised and exhausted and full of great funny stories. Coconuts grew in abundance on the small islands around us, as did other tropical fruits. The howler monkeys could be heard each morning just like clockwork, barking their greetings to each other. Toucans, macaws and parrots as well as pelicans, frigates and osprey were identified. The dozens of other species were a mystery to me. We saw the dolphins at play around the boats more than once and several nice spotted eagle rays in addition to starfish, grouper, black urchins, parrot and trigger fish among others.

    It wasn't difficult to imagine yourself there forever as you rocked lazily to and fro in the cockpit listening to the hiss and roar of the surf on the sand and feeling the coolness of twilight lifting the stray hair around your neck. The sky on fire in the west and the smell of something warm and spicy coming from the galley is enough to evoke a visceral sigh and start those mental calculations about how much it would cost to leave the old US of A and become just like these folks. My mind would wander to the viability of purchasing a little palapa hut on the beach where I could spend the rest of my days sipping limonada and snoozing in a hammock.

    But all is not well in paradise it seems. My first glimpse at the airport was just a taste of what is really happening in Costa Rica. Apparently I am not the only one who felt infatuated with her wildness and beckoning bays and sandy beaches. The land is being purchased at an astounding rate by Americans, Canadians, and others leaving little room for the native populations and leaving an ugly American scar across the face of the country in the form of American consumption. Large subdivisions are being built, islands are being purchased on almost any coastal property near a road. This has prompted an influx of American lawyers and real estate agents to "protect"; the ex-pats from being manipulated or cheated in their dealings with the locals. The Costa Rican government has little control over the abuses and does even less to protect the natives from exploitation.

    Americans sit in expensive hotels being waited on by less-than-minimum-wage locals and whine about the cost of the luxury items needed to furnish their 6,000 square foot retirement homes and the frustration of trying to slog across the muddy roads to their gated and guarded communities on the other side of the mountain. They tell horror stories about the rotten little natives who have gotten angry that their ancestral home has been sold off to the Norte Americano who never bothers to visit, but who also prevents him from continuing to squat on the same plot of land that his grandfather and many more generations have lived on prior to this unexpected American coveting of thy neighbor's property, and who have cleared the land or resold the property on a bogus title in his absence.

    Where's the justice? It is tempting to sympathize with the guy or gal who plunked down their "hard-earned" retirement dollars for a piece of paradise but it is terribly hard to condone the apparent ignorance of the effect we are having on this small country. Yes, we are creating jobs in the form of construction and housekeeping and waitressing and bringing an infusion of American dollars to buy food and shoes. But we are pricing the locals out of the market as housing costs continue to rise to levels beyond some communities in the US. Yes, it opens new markets and brings a variety of goods and services Costa Ricans have never seen before but it creates new economies dependent on the US dollar, dilutes native culture and lifestyle, and creates that separation of economic classes and cultures that will most likely end in resentment, if not violence.

    But enough of those thoughts. I have my limonada and my ticket home, the sun feels like a caress across my back and I have a few hours this afternoon before my flight to shop at that cute little craft store by the airport where I can get local artwork cheap. Life is good for the Norte Americano who can consume and then walk away. Let someone else worry about it until I come back again with my dollars and a lust for the perfect retirement hideaway.

    Best regards,


    George Carlin on Aging + Recognition

    George Carlin's Views on Aging

    Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

    "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

    You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

    "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

    But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

    You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

    But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

    So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

    You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

    You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

    Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


    1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "

    2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

    3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

    4. Enjoy the simple things.

    5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

    6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

    7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

    8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

    9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

    10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity

    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


    Richard here:

    The "tag line" of Senior Bachelor is.....Promoting Romance and Adventure and Recognition for People 45 and over. A reader wanted to know about the Recognition part.

    It really bugs me that people 50 and over constitute around one-third of the population in the United States, almost 100 million people, but we do not receive near the recognition that we not only deserve, but that we have earned!!! People 50 and over in America control 77% of the wealth. That's right 77%!!! And, approximately 10,000 Americans turn 50 every day of the year!!! I firmly believe that the media and advertisers treat us shabbily. Movies, television shows, magazines, newspapers, radio and almost all advertisers assiduously avoid the dreaded "older" demographic. Us, in other words. The media and advertisers always seek the "coveted" demographic of 18-49, but in fact it is really 18-39, and even more really 18-34. Why? Because they believe this "coveted" group has not yet been "branded." Meaning that unlike "us" they can be sold different brands and then they will be "branded" for life. For example, I own a Sony TV, and the advertisers logic is that my next TV will be a Sony.

    This is, for the most part, absolutely wrong-headed thinking. Yet, this is what they have bought into. Why isn't there a Senior Survivor? Or Senior Amazing Race, for example. For sure I know the answer to that. Wrong demographic.

    Next week I will discuss a strategy that I have been thinking about to wake these people up.

    The Senior Bachelor Cruise- Book Early!
    HAL Logo

    Things are heating up with the Alaska Cruises! I do plan to keep my "date" with all of you and host these two incredible Senior Bachelor kick off cruises. We have lots of fun things in store which we will be sharing with you shortly. Let's just say that, even if you have cruised before, you will come back saying you have never been on a cruise like this before!!

    I exchanged emails with Shawn, our Personal Cruise Consultant, and she wants me to remind you that these two cruises are in the "peak" of the Alaska cruising season. They are very popular in their own right- much less with the added attraction of having us party-ers on board! So please start checking your travel calendar and, if you think there is a chance you want to go, contact her ASAP. Your deposit goes directly to Holland America Lines and is completely refundable up to 75 days before the cruise. People seem to book the better cabins first so at least call her to check availability.

    For information about the Senior Bachelor Cruise, click here! Remember to send me an email at if you need a cruise cabin mate to save the single supplement. We've already matched up a whole bunch of people and I will be able to help you even while on the Journey. Or you can contact our Personal Cruise Consultant, Shawn, at or call 1-800-355-3017 Ext. 4294 Mon- Fri, 9:00AM to 6:00PM, PST.

    To submit the Online Cruise Booking Form, click here! A great Success Story!

    I love hearing from you about your experiences with PerfectMatch! I share them only with the writer's permission- usually given enthusiastically because they are excited to share their success. Fits nicely with our New Year's Resolution theme:

    From Marti- "Richard,

    Want to tell you about my success with Perfect Match. I joined at the same time I started planning my trip to Chicago to meet you. David and I emailed a few times, then started two-hour phone calls each night for a couple of weeks, then met in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan immediately after Chicago (my Chicago "tour" included a leaf-peeking week in UP). Since then we have been almost inseparable - almost four months! Incredible! So, yes, I think Perfect Match works, and I have recommended it to a couple of friends. I had tried eHarmony at my sister's insistence for a month, with no luck, and David had tried three other sites at different times over the last couple of years and actually had met a few women. We both think we got lucky on PerfectMatch!

    Good luck!

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