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Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,
You've answered the call to send in your
stories! I'm very pleased to share this with
all of you. Keep them coming!
Why men are happier people
• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be President.
• You can never be pregnant.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water
park.
• You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress $5000 Tux rental-$100.
• People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle
your feet.
• One mood all the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one
suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she
can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You almost never have strap problems in
public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.
• Everything on your face stays its original
color.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades.
• You only have to shave your face and
neck.
• You can play with toys all your life.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes one color
for all seasons.
• You can wear shorts no matter how your
legs look.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache.
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25
relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier. Richard Roe Senior Bachelor
Click here to check out the Senior Bachelor Cruise Adventure this Summer!
It was somewhat disorienting landing in San Jose,
Costa Rica but not for the usual reasons.
Yes, it
was a red-eye from LA and I didn't get a lot of
sleep and I was landing in a "foreign"
country, but
it was more than that. I think it was the
predominance of English that I heard being spoken
around me and the obviously American travelers, plus
the surprising appearance of Schlotsky's Deli
in the
terminal. I thought maybe I had grabbed the wrong
plane and had landed in San Jose, CA instead.
On the commuter flight from the capital San Jose to
Puerto
Jimenez in southwest Costa Rica I was reassured
that I had, indeed, hit the ground in the right
location. The immense mountains, muddy roads
curling over the jungled slopes and the green spilling
out to the horizon in all directions was more like what
I had envisioned for this small country. I was headed
to Jimenez to catch up with a group of "cruisers"-
sailboat owners who had chosen a lifestyle that most
of us only dream about, since they live full time on
their boats.
Specifically I was to join the s/v 5th
Element, the well-cared-for 45-foot sloop owned by
Captain Bruce, a friend of a friend.
We had never met each other before, so the first
order was to identify my captain and the gang of
what would become instant dear friends in the
welcoming crowd standing near the dirt strip. It
turned out that the five smiling and waving sailors
were easy to spot. After a bit of provisioning
("shopping"; for ye land lubbers), a
dinner of fish
tacos and a cool dip in the ocean I was ready to set
sail for just about anywhere. I quickly learned that
s/v Tumbleweed and s/v Alkahest were to be an
important part of the sailing family that would
accompany us for two weeks. Their owners Danika
and Jay, Mollie and David were delightful snorkeling
and diving companions, Jay and Danika play some
pretty mean pinochle and cribbage, and
Danika's
famous Friday night pizza parties were gourmet.
We potlucked our dinners occasionally and I was very
impressed with the variety of foods that could be
created from a galley the size of most people's
refrigerator. Captain Bruce was also surprisingly
capable of dishing up meals that immediately
disappeared in front of me and the added bonus of
just-caught fish, lobster, scallops and clams quickly
added new meaning to the word "fresh".
Off we sailed to Panama, stopping at Punto Balsa and
the islands around Isla Perida. Days were spent
diving, reading, napping, sleeping, eating, exploring
the islands, kayaking and every few days sailing to
another beautiful bay. The nights were lit by the full
moon, the Southern Cross and the eerie blue-white
glow of bioluminescence as the waves hit the shore
and spilled across the sand.
We improvised on our
own "Panamanian Winter Olympics";
which left us
bruised and exhausted and full of great funny stories.
Coconuts grew in abundance on the small islands
around us, as did other tropical fruits. The howler
monkeys could be heard each morning just like
clockwork, barking their greetings to each other.
Toucans, macaws and parrots as well as pelicans,
frigates and osprey were identified. The dozens of
other species were a mystery to me. We saw the
dolphins at play around the boats more than once
and several nice spotted eagle rays in addition to
starfish, grouper, black urchins, parrot and trigger
fish among others.
It wasn't difficult to imagine yourself there
forever
as you rocked lazily to and fro in the cockpit listening
to the hiss and roar of the surf on the sand and
feeling the coolness of twilight lifting the stray hair
around your neck. The sky on fire in the west and
the smell of something warm and spicy coming from
the galley is enough to evoke a visceral sigh and
start those mental calculations about how much it
would cost to leave the old US of A and become just
like these folks. My mind would wander to the
viability of purchasing a little palapa hut on the
beach where I could spend the rest of my days
sipping limonada and snoozing in a hammock.
But all is not well in paradise it seems. My first
glimpse at the airport was just a taste of what is
really happening in Costa Rica. Apparently I am not
the only one who felt infatuated with her wildness
and beckoning bays and sandy beaches. The land is
being purchased at an astounding rate by Americans,
Canadians, and others leaving little room for the
native populations and leaving an ugly American scar
across the face of the country in the form of
American consumption. Large subdivisions are being
built, islands are being purchased on almost any
coastal property near a road. This has prompted an
influx of American lawyers and real estate agents to
"protect"; the ex-pats from being
manipulated or
cheated in their dealings with the locals. The Costa
Rican government has little control over the abuses
and does even less to protect the natives from
exploitation.
Americans sit in expensive hotels being waited on by
less-than-minimum-wage locals and whine about the
cost of the luxury items needed to furnish their 6,000
square foot retirement homes and the frustration of
trying to slog across the muddy roads to their gated
and guarded communities on the other side of the
mountain. They tell horror stories about the rotten
little natives who have gotten angry that their
ancestral home has been sold off to the Norte
Americano who never bothers to visit, but who also
prevents him from continuing to squat on the same
plot of land that his grandfather and many more
generations have lived on prior to this unexpected
American coveting of thy neighbor's property,
and
who have cleared the land or resold the property on
a bogus title in his absence.
Where's the justice? It is tempting to
sympathize
with the guy or gal who plunked down their
"hard-earned" retirement dollars for a piece of
paradise but it is terribly hard to condone the
apparent
ignorance of the effect we are having on this small
country. Yes, we are creating jobs in the form of
construction and housekeeping and waitressing and
bringing an infusion of American dollars to buy food
and shoes. But we are pricing the locals out of the
market as housing costs continue to rise to levels
beyond some communities in the US. Yes, it opens
new markets and brings a variety of goods and
services Costa Ricans have never seen before but it
creates new economies dependent on the US dollar,
dilutes native culture and lifestyle, and creates that
separation of economic classes and cultures that will
most likely end in resentment, if not violence.
But enough of those thoughts. I have my limonada
and my ticket home, the sun feels like a caress
across my back and I have a few hours this
afternoon before my flight to shop at that cute little
craft store by the airport where I can get local
artwork cheap. Life is good for the Norte Americano
who can consume and then walk away. Let someone
else worry about it until I come back again with my
dollars and a lust for the perfect retirement hideaway.
Best regards,
Lori
George Carlin's Views on Aging Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them " 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is. 10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: RECOGNITION Richard here: The "tag line" of Senior Bachelor is.....Promoting Romance and Adventure and Recognition for People 45 and over. A reader wanted to know about the Recognition part. It really bugs me that people 50 and over constitute around one-third of the population in the United States, almost 100 million people, but we do not receive near the recognition that we not only deserve, but that we have earned!!! People 50 and over in America control 77% of the wealth. That's right 77%!!! And, approximately 10,000 Americans turn 50 every day of the year!!! I firmly believe that the media and advertisers treat us shabbily. Movies, television shows, magazines, newspapers, radio and almost all advertisers assiduously avoid the dreaded "older" demographic. Us, in other words. The media and advertisers always seek the "coveted" demographic of 18-49, but in fact it is really 18-39, and even more really 18-34. Why? Because they believe this "coveted" group has not yet been "branded." Meaning that unlike "us" they can be sold different brands and then they will be "branded" for life. For example, I own a Sony TV, and the advertisers logic is that my next TV will be a Sony. This is, for the most part, absolutely wrong-headed thinking. Yet, this is what they have bought into. Why isn't there a Senior Survivor? Or Senior Amazing Race, for example. For sure I know the answer to that. Wrong demographic. Next week I will discuss a strategy that I have been thinking about to wake these people up.
Things are heating up with the Alaska Cruises! I do plan to keep my "date" with all of you and host these two incredible Senior Bachelor kick off cruises. We have lots of fun things in store which we will be sharing with you shortly. Let's just say that, even if you have cruised before, you will come back saying you have never been on a cruise like this before!! I exchanged emails with Shawn, our Personal Cruise Consultant, and she wants me to remind you that these two cruises are in the "peak" of the Alaska cruising season. They are very popular in their own right- much less with the added attraction of having us party-ers on board! So please start checking your travel calendar and, if you think there is a chance you want to go, contact her ASAP. Your deposit goes directly to Holland America Lines and is completely refundable up to 75 days before the cruise. People seem to book the better cabins first so at least call her to check availability.
For information about the Senior Bachelor Cruise, click here! Remember to send me an email at Richard@seniorbachelor.com if you need a cruise cabin mate to save the single supplement. We've already matched up a whole bunch of people and I will be able to help you even while on the Journey. Or you can contact our Personal Cruise Consultant, Shawn, at Shawn@seniorbachelor.com or call 1-800-355-3017 Ext. 4294 Mon- Fri, 9:00AM to 6:00PM, PST. To submit the Online Cruise Booking Form, click here!
I love hearing from you about your experiences with PerfectMatch! I share them only with the writer's permission- usually given enthusiastically because they are excited to share their success. Fits nicely with our New Year's Resolution theme:
From Marti- "Richard, Want to tell you about my success with Perfect Match. I joined at the same time I started planning my trip to Chicago to meet you. David and I emailed a few times, then started two-hour phone calls each night for a couple of weeks, then met in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan immediately after Chicago (my Chicago "tour" included a leaf-peeking week in UP). Since then we have been almost inseparable - almost four months! Incredible! So, yes, I think Perfect Match works, and I have recommended it to a couple of friends. I had tried eHarmony at my sister's insistence for a month, with no luck, and David had tried three other sites at different times over the last couple of years and actually had met a few women. We both think we got lucky on PerfectMatch! Good luck!
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